Revision and writing style

My writing style has remained the same throughout the last four papers: large block papragraphs with multiple small points rotating around a few larger ones, all of which are to bolster my paper's arguement. The sentences are long and wordy, but they get the point across in a clear, understandable manner. Plenty of puntuation is used, and the utmost professional manner has been integrated into the papers for academic integrity.

From the revisions in class, it seems the present style is appreciated, as it has recieved very little criticism. The points are clear and strong, and analytical above all else from the multiple sources used. One change, though, has been to make multiple smaller paragraphs rather than large blocks, for ease of the reader. I still view my writing style correct, and I move to clarify what one does not interpret offhand or becomes corrective about.

Revising, the papers of others, though, has exposed my writing new other styles and new ideas. It may be wise to construct sentences shorter, making them less lengthy and allowing room for more content. In addition, adding more parenthesis rather than commas/periods would be helpful. In critical writing, though, the point shares equal value to how it is expressed, so bluntness could hamper rather than help.

A Tale of Two Cited Articles: Scholarly Paper Four

My fourth paper topic is a closer analyzation of what "benefits" a rich, industrialized nation supposedly brings to its people, finding deeper truths and comparing the findings with what living in a poorer country brings.

McIntryre, Lisa. The Practical Skeptic: Core Concepts in Sociology. New York: McGraw Hill, 2008.

This book by WSU professor Lisa McIntyre describes the modern world and societies from the collective perspectives of multiple sociologists. Several chapters pertain to my paper four, entailing the social problems that have arisen with the unprecedented modern industrial world, how ideal benefits have brought about unforseen problems and upheavals, and the shift away from unfavored past traditions has brought about greater division and stress in several nations.

The social analyzations of pains and powers between rich and poor countries have had suprising results; "though rich people live better than poor people in general, rich countires seem to live worse off than poor countries overall" (McIntyre, 2008, 50). The increase in the amount of work per individual, the corruption of higher figures, the decrease in self worth, and the strain between different groups all seem to increase with a nation's prosperity. All great, powerful, industrialized nations are experiencing common issues: heart and liver disease spikes, fracturing social groups, and higher taxes and stress. This all seems to become a self-perpetuating cycle: as prosperity increases, so do taxes and prices, which cause more sress and deteriorating social bonds to meet them. Meeting the taxes and prices causes higher prosperity, causing them to rise higher, and the cyle builds until it can simply build no more, and collapses.

Along with these points, "The Practical Skeptic" describes sociological terms, the lives of several modern sociologists (Marx, Comte, etc), ethic and means of sociological study, and various types of discriminations, differentiations, and privileges in a society. In addition, several common sociological layouts are entailed, as are the advantages and disadvantages of each as a whole. Major findings are compared and displayed analytically, while more minor ones are attributed more to their discovering sociologist.

Wilkenson, RG and KE Pickett. Income Inequality and Health: A Review and Explanation of Evidence. New York: Social Science and medicine, 2006.

Again pertaining to my paper four, RG Wilkenson's article descibes how public and social health run perpendicular to national prosperity; as a nation rises, it people seem to fall. The greater the nation's wealth and power, the greater the gap between its people and the greater its problems overall. As said by Wilkenson, "inequality affects the vast majorit of the population, not just the poorest" (Wilkenson, 7). If an entire society is rich by comparison overall, then problems will tend to face the rich more than the poor as a result.

Wise Essay

Racism and race-based-discrimination in the US.

For more than a century, the United States has been moving to undo a legacy of racism and discrimination amongst its people. The changes have been to create a society reflecting the grand document of its founding, with “all men being created equal”, having “the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” How far all have really come toward such a monumental and ideal society is entailed David Cook’s “By The Color of Their Skin” article; each change for the better seems to bring two more for the worse, shifting away from the desired achievement. Though racism is dying through the effort of the entire nation, race-based discrimination is alive as ever, spawning new policies and issues for all.

The most defining arguments of the Cook article are racism and privilege, and how both influence today’s culture. As defined by Wise, “ Racism is an ideology that says certain people, by virtue of their race, are inferior or superior to others of a different race, with race usually being defined as skin color” (Cook, 2009, p.5). In other words, the color of a person’s skin color defines how they immediately see themselves, and others see them offhand. The quality of a person’s heart and soul may be the most important characteristic of all, but is seen secondary at best to the color of their skin.

The next defining aspect of this article is privilege. Once again, according to this article by Cook, privilege can also be seen as less pressure to perform. An example in the text was, “George W. Bush mangled the English language with regularity and still became president. If Barack Obama had mispronounced words the way Bush did, would he have been given the same degree of slack” (Cook, 2009, p.5). Because skin color is so defining of who someone is this example and the idea of having less pressure to perform means people of the dominate race may not feel the need to perform to their full potential because they already feel privilege.

Ironically, antiracism has caused a new type of racism, in which the previously underprivileged minorities have become the privileged majority, and the previously privileged racial majority has become an underprivileged minority. In terms of people in terms of race being constructed in America today, Cook describes, “The mistake people make is to think that history stops and starts with each new generation” (Cook, 2009, p.6). What people need to realize is that what happens in one generation effects the next and every generation in the future and it’s impossible to start with a completely blank slate (Cook, 2009, p.6).

In their own lives today, people are affected by racism in aspects of their lives they are completely unaware of. Wise uses the example that, “Job applicants with ‘white-sounding’ names are 50 percent more likely to get called back than those with ‘black-sounding’ names, even if both have the same qualifications” (Cook, 2009, p.6). Such an attitude is engrained in American society; one cannot completely erase their own past, no matter how much they may try.

Such concept can definitely tie into paper three; similar to the quest of all for the perfect meal, the strive for a perfect, just, unbiased society continues leaping forward recklessly in great bounds, and yet remain just beyond grasp. All may be looking for perfection, but all have different ideas as to what perfection really is.


Works Cited
Wise, Tim. "By the Color If Their Skin." Interview by David Cook. The Sun July 2009: 4-12. Print

Source Selection

I find sources for English 101 essays mostly online; from there, I can find books, literary exerpts, or websites beneficial to my papers. I start with a general search online for a specific part of my paper (specified smaller arguement relating to the grand thesis), from there identifying the best sources on a basis of professionalism and source type (I'd likely use a scholarly essay before a blog entry). I might improve the method of finding sources by looking for one source medium (relating books, essays, websites) in particular first, then root out the best one for inclusion.

I find most sources online, examining books and literary works put into a digital format. A better idea may be to search the WSU library for a specific source title relating to my theme, then read the book itself; I may not find it's information otherwise. In addition, it may be wise to look for a source that supports, or is supported by, The Omnivore's Dilemma, as that is the foundation of nearly all class projects thusfar.

Much of the sources chosen in my projects are chosen because they have quotes that can be put into my essay, which easily ties the source in with anything I'm trying to say (pro or against thesis), and because they are of a professional background; quality is sought after, not quantity. However, to truly go for a basis of professionalsim, it may be better in the future to use a higher-integrity source purely for its grade; it may relate less to the paper itself, but can be shifted to tie in with more work, which would improve the essay overall. Much of what is used, becomes used on a basis of availability, when it would be wiser in the future to hunt down one great, specific source before the paper itself is started.

Norman Borlaug + Kellogg's Arcticle

In his Ending World Hunger article, Norman Borlaug discusses how the bioengineering of new plants and crops for different desirable traits and greater yield is not anything new; people have been invening in the evolution of plants since 10,000-15,000 BC. It is simply in a profoundly new manner that crops have been altered, by direct genetic splicing and other recently discovered scientific methods. New issues in the world, mainly a prevoiusly unseen world population of 6.5 billion people, need futuristic, new, innovative solutions, which crop engineering and scientific breeding look to be.

It is a long struggle to accomplish anything for the better, though; suspicious government leaders, anti-crop science groups, and reluctance of populations overall for great change hamper progress. Especially now, when time is of the essence, organizations protest the sale and consumption of genetically modified foods, urge "all natural" and organic foods only, and reduce public opinion of crop engineering overall. These groups, however, typically live in well-off portions of society and have the ability to choose their food, unlike other people in the world whom they are apparently trying to save; their arguement becomes hypocritical as a result.

The Kellogg's article discussed the laser-burning of its logo onto its corn flakes to distinguish them from potential knock-offs, and expansion of the concept to other products should it prove successful. This seems a bit much; the logo itself, and all the other cereal box features, should be enough to seperate the cereal from the competition. This may be a cover for a far greater potential advertising ploy, as people might become more endeared to Kelloggs by simply seeing the brand name over and over again every time they take a bite!

The Omnivore's Dilemma (15,18,19,20), They Say I Say (6-7)

Chapter 15 of "The Omnivore's Dilemma" (Pollan) detailed the life and diet of a simple hunter-gather, struggling to obtain even the least amount of food required for sustenence. With a common dependence on domestication and agriculture, going out into a forest to only hunt or pick up any meal for more than a short given time seems outlandish; there would be far less food to eat, and that meager amount takes much more energy to find, becoming much less rewarding overall. Besides, it could be poisonous! Many fail, however, to take a good look at the food they eat themselves, sprayed multiple times with chlorine, arsenic, and other chemicals, then packed with enough preservatives to cover a kitchen table. Ironically, those who naysay the hunter-gatherers "have only in the last century or two regained the physical stature and longevity of their Paleolithic ancestors."

Chapters 18, 19, and 20 describe the experience of hunting from the neutral perspective of one who has never done such thing before. Killing a wild pig, gutting it, and preparing its meat caused disgust in Michael Pollan, yet had he seen the way bacon and meat delicacies are made, these feeling would probably had been eased. The smell and sights upon preparing meat cause discontent, yet are part of eating it; the closer something is to human, the less a human will want to eat it, and the more revulsion they will feel in doing so. In addition, the hunt itself is entailed: a rush of adrenaline, fear of killing AND fear of missing the shot, and a host of other mind-shattering factors come into play. This is not bacon from the freezer; this is a living thing, that can run, defend, and feel.

Parts 6-7 of "They Say I Say" (Graff) describe why, and how best, to implant a naysayer (opposing opinion) into an academic paper, and how to best format such to suite a target audience. If one continues on with a single point throughout their paper, it will create a repeatitive and overall boring result, dissuading readers. Planting an opposing view entices outsiders to read (conflict always draws attention), and can help prove the arguement (if this paper can prove a naysaying thesis wrong, then it, and its arguement, must be superior). In addition, having an outside audience helps the formatting; if one group is meant to read, then the language and style can be restructured for them foremost; science papers should be suited for fact detail, and impartiality, while say, a blog might be for personal view and observation. It is not enough to have information; others must understand and comprehend it, caring bout and absorbing the big "so what."

Omnivore's Dilemma (16,17)

Chapter 16 of "The Omnivore's Dilemma" (Pollan) detailed the evolutionary pains and powers of having near-complete freedom of choice in food and diet; while other creatures seek only one food source and become evolutionarily entwined with it (in life and death), humanity can move about with the greatest ease from one appetizing bounty to another, rarely pulling a hair when one staple disappears because another suitable one is doubtlessly nearby. People will never run out of food options; this fact might ensure the overall survival of homo sapiens from famine of any one staple, but presents an imponderable complexity about what is best for one to eat. What is healthy and unhealthy has changed more in the last century than in the entire history of man previous, rigorously turning the world of food upside-down and inside-out, the world of the food-eaters turning likewise.

Chapter 17 described the "rules" of eating animals, the rules themselves being unstable and not set to a fine line by any one party overall. Some people advocate freeing humanity from animal cruelty forever by becoming vegan; this would perhaps ensure a more utopian and natural style of living and eating, but would ultimately lead to the extermination of millions of animals born to be food, and a sensless killing at that, as no food or gain would be obtained. Others push for a Polyface Farm future, where animals are treated humanely, and one gets to see everything about the chicken they buy for dinner, from its happy pecking about in a pasture, to its death, defeathering, and sale on a counter. Sustainability lobbyists look down such a road as well. Still more people content themselves with the low-priced industrial food model, where animals are treated as machines and nothing else for the sake of more food, despite all its health risks and shortcomings to all except the grand businesses involved. One thing's for sure: none will win outright, and the war between them all will definitely serve to increase the ever-worsening omnivore's dilemma.

The Omnivore's Dilemma (ch.8,10,11), They Say I Say (ch.6,7), Writer's Resource

Chapters 8, 10, and 11 of "The Omnivore's Dilemma" (Pollan) detail the workings of Joel Salatin in his "grass farming." Though he raises a variety of livestock on his farm, and a small amount of crops as well, the life behind it all is simple green grass, which Salatin takes the utmost care in protecting and nurturing (without any pesticides or fertilizers, ironically). By having th livestock eat in a rotation of biggest to smallest in varying pastures, the grass replenishes itself, and is removed of parasites and bothersome plants. In addition, all the animals have enough to eat, and are pefectly healthy without antibiotics. Truly, Salatin's Polyface Farm sets the standard for simplicity, sustainability, and being organic, without ever calling itself so.

In addition, the link between grass and humankind is cemented in these chapters. People have relied upon grass since the dawn of man, when all were hunters of mammoths and other great animals. Since people could not eat the grass itself, they ate the animals that ate it, and consumed its nutrients secondhand. To keep the grass in good order was necessary for a stable supply of meat as well, so people often set fire to encroaching growths and beat back brush to keep the grasslands healthy and plentiful for meat animals. Eventually, some grasses (wheat, corn) came about that people could not only digest, but eat as a staple as well, outdoing their green predecessors. Agriculture soon followed, eliminating much need for hunting and allowing for domestication. Whether through animals or the plant itself, simple grass has been the underlying reason for humanity's success for millenia.

Chapters 6 and 7 of "They Say, I Say" (Graff) decribe how to bolster the arguement in a paper, ironically by bringing in outside opinions that contradict the main arguement. By planting quotes and point of opposing arguements ito one's essay, the main theme can appear reasonable by showing contrasting viewpoints, and stronger by proving them wrong. It is necessary, though, for all to relate to the main point, whether supporting or contradicting it.

MLA citations examples are as follows:
-Works Cited (Book): Author. Title. City of Publication: Publisher, Year Published.
-In-text citation (Book): (Author, Page number). -If no author, use title.
-Works Cited (website): Author. Title of Page. Home Page Title. Date posted (Year). Date Visited (month, day, year). Web link.
-In-text citation (website): (Author). -If no author, use page title.

The Omnivore's Dilemma (Ch 12-13), They Say I Say (Ch 4-5), Writer's Resource (p. 21-51) response + outside source

Chapters 12 and 13 of "The Omnivore's Dilemma" (Pollan) decribed the food and collective processes of Joel Salatin, the grass farmer who sets the high bar in being "organic." Salatin raises a variety of animals for meat on a large grassy field farm, but looks to raising grass first (as this sustains everything else). Few to no artificial processes exist; the animals are kept in barn-style pens at night (not cages as elsewhere), and are put into pasture in a rotating daily schedule. No fertilizers or vitamins are used, and much of the labor is done manually. Any farm products are then distributed into local markets (less than 1/2 day's drive away). Explicit detail was given to the nature of the livestock at the time of slaughter; chickens, for example, were killed in the most moderate numbers by hand (being bled out) before being plucked and drained by the few machines on the farm, and finally being cut open and removed of organs completely manually. All this was done under a small awning in a seperate field, using the sun to disinfect. The meat was then sent to local businesses, farmers markets, or the farm's main store itself for sale. Truly, the definition of "organic" is set by Salatine, who lives this concept in every concievable manner.

The mission for Salatin, it seems, is to be organic as possible without being condemned by the public eye. This organic system (self sustaining pastures, livestock, and distribution solely to local markets) is of great benefit; the animals are healthy naturally, are allowed loving human contact (by farmers, customers, or gawking visitors), are fed and rotated that the grass is well kept by preening and growth control, and have better taste/quality in the end. Additionally, less is spent on advertising (local trust and word of mouth are relied upon), and community bonds are strengthened by not only eating locally, but eating better as a result. As with all things, there are downsides; costs of food are higher (non-industrial farming aims for quality, not quantity, in market), the buying market is more limited, and the government constantly hounds Salatin for killing animals in the sun rather then in enclosed facilities. It all comes down to a great question literally plaguing the nation today; would one rather have satisfying higher-cost food, or food that, while cheap, never seems to satisfy? Salatin personifies the first, practicing and defending it with heart and soul.

Chapters 4 through 5 of "They Say I Say" (Graff) detail how to make one's arguement in accordance with the main point presented, and outside reference. Essentially, one needs to put their arguement into the form of a prompt summarizing the values they are trying to express; here, "what I say" is presented, response and much of the paper's backbone coming forth. One needs to make their arguement while not straying off target, and move outside resources to agree/disagree with the main point to ultimately prove it, all in a simutaneously personal and professional manner. Though some distinguishment is needed between fact, personal opinion, and outer research, overall flow is crucial.

Pages 21 through 51 of "A Writer's Resource" (Maimon) entailed how critical it is in any writing undertaking to have solid connection between the point put forth, its portrayal, and its reception by others. Many different errors can occur that may disrupt the connection between reader, author, and point, ultimately rendering the project a waste. Circular reasoning, for example, puts forth only the author's view in backing a point, not taking others into account and dissuading them as a result (good on author's part, bad on that of display and outside reception). This is not limited to literary works; visual aids need to keep strong bonds between, presenter, point, and audience. Unconsciously adhering to, say, bandwagon (assuming common knowledge on something when really the knowledge is diverse or unheard) is an error on a creator's part, which affects what others see and interpret (reception and portrayal may be acceptable, but author is wrong). Being critical overall is a necessity in any writing/explanatory feat.

Outside Source:
Piaget, Jean. "Ads For Unhealthy Foods Increase Children's Consumption 45%."
http://www.spring.org.uk/2009/11/ads-for-unhealthy-foods-increase-childrens-consumption-45.php

Jean Piaget's article "Ads For Unhealthy Foods Increase Children's Consumption 45%" explained how the rising amount of fat in the American people can be attributed to rise in advertisement of fatty foods. Through several surveys and tests, it was found that more people were likely to buy/consume advertised food than non-advertised (explaining the popularity of McDonalds vs that of, say, vegetarian living), especially those of younger years. The latter concept is used by businesses with a vengeance; younger customers will likely stay with one company's products as they age, creating dependable business clients, as they spread good news to friends and kin, and of course stay long with the company. Through advertising, an unconscious mental association is forged between a product and its desire by a person. An example is advertised low fat yogurt; through commercials and other advertising, it becomes mentally asscociated in a strong manner with food. Thus, when someone hungers for a snack, they will likely go for low-fat yogurt, benefiting the product's producers. Advertising is powerful, and large companies (like McDonalds or Yoplait) with large advertising budgets can get the most word out in America's capitalist society, securing both their own position and that of public health.

Reading Response, Chapter 9

This chapter from "The Omnivore's Dilemma" (Pollan) is aptly titled "Big Organic", a notably self-contradictory phrase. The bigger the company, and the wider it stretches, the more need it has to mass-produce and cut costs to stay competetive. For example, smaller local dairies produce fresh milk sold directly to local markets; larger ones such as Dairygold must chemically enhance their milk to help preserve it, and ship it hundreds of miles away to more foreign paying customers. However, much of the more modern population in America has become more critical about what they eat/drink, reflecting on the companies that provide sustinence. Since they want to have less chemicals in their ever-fattening bodies, Americans move toward the "organic" trend of foods, which companies who wish to keep large market shares quickly follow. Not suprisingly, what is labeled as "organic" becomes highly diverse, differing substantially throughout company, personal, and sociological views.

Sociologically, organic means "natural", "simple", or "clean/pure" in general. These few words are enough to spark outrageous controversy among people, though. Some say organic means farmed/grown without artificial fertilizers or pesticides, while others view the term to mean production of food with minimal technological impact, picked by Americans, unprocessed, perfect as is. While everyone tries to eat healthy nowadays, the current fat plague across America is pushing people to the most extreme "organic" possibilities. To keep business, companies reorganize to a more "organic" structure, but what this spells in changes differs vastly; some feed organic grain to caged cows, others sell only beef raised in unfenced, grassed prarie fields. Some sell corn washed without the worst of artificial cleaners (thus organic by comparison), while others process corn by hand in a more traditional manner. In any case, "organic" is more an idealism than reality; it only really exists to those who have moved so far from it that they feel things have to be changed by great standard for all (even outside this society) to become the new standard "organic"; its "natural" only because we eat in a greatly unnatural manner now.

Omnivore's Dilemma (2,6,7) + They Say I Say (1-3) response

Chapters two, six, and seven of "The Omnivore's Dilemma" (Pollan) gave insight into the present state of American health and dietary affairs through events unfolding for two centuries, accumulating into the current ironic issue: a plague of ever-over-bountiful corn. It was explained that this has been an problem in America since the nineteenth century (when cheap corn led to cheap corn-based alcohol, inciting great public drunkenness), simply now rearing more devastating harms (to the American body and people) than ever before.

A self-perpetuating cycle has developed in Iowa and other major corn states; one that keeps the price of corn spiralling down, along with the worth of the farmers. By stabilizing growing conditions better with new fertilizers and technologies, corn has been assured to always grow successfully, and grow in abundance; with that abundance, the price of corn drops, and the farmers recieve less for their yields. Thus, they must grow more corn to stll make a living, and more corn drives the price lower in turn.

If more corn was bought by consumers, the price would rise by the simple concept of supply and demand, but that same concept is doing the corn farmers in: people, though buying more corn-based foods (and growng fat and unhealthy from them) from cheap price, cannot buy enough to stem the tide of cheap corn. The corn supply grows faster than it can be consumed even by a gluttonous population, and the price falls, initiating more corn growth and consumption, ruining corn farmers and consumers alike.


Chapers one, two, and three of "They Say, I Say" (Graff) describe in detail how to properly formulate a convincing arguementative paper: by having in it a main point (with smaller others branching out), evidence from outside sources to support it, and a conflicting arguement with supporting evidence, all blenging together coherently. A counteractive point is needed to not only acknowledge conflicting arguements, but to show them wrong in their opposing view to the paper's major point or theme. In addition, these provide interst, which is bred from conflict. "Yes, yes, yes, yes" style will likely turn readers away; "yes, no, Yes, No, YES, NO" paper style will entice them (yes must somehow be victorious, though).

Of course, a paper must have backup in its fight to prove its point from outside sources; not only that, the sources must relate to the topic significantly, and formatted that the outer views and main paper focus are one and the same, not two entities. "I say the earth is round. Galileo said the earth is round 500 years ago. Here's why" keeps readers looking back and forth across a paper to tie points together. Instead, "I say the earth is round, drawing upon the .... evidence known since Galileo's time" creates a cohesive and interesting case.

2 paragraphs, first 2 class readings

The first part of "They Say, I Say" (Graff) described how best to structure one's writing to make it not only understandable, but appealing to others. Templates have been set up in the English writing style that allow one to take their argument and structure it in a format that will endear it to others; a great point will not be listened to if it makes a poor first impression. This frees up the mental capacity of how to write, and allows one to focus more on what to write. In addition, any literary work must make one central point, but not just that: it must make an argument, and have comparison to that argument (having one single repeating message puts off potential readers). Conflict breeds interest. In conclusion, keep one style and message central, writing on from there.

The first part of "The Omnivore's Dilemma" (Pollan) explains the title: an explanation of eating habits, of choice in diet, of potential health risks from them, and how they all relate. Much is focused in America, where people are constantly hit with a barrage of eating options, grow diverse in health and personal dietary habits, and move blindly and fanatically toward an ideal food stability as a result. People will eat anything appealing almost at first glance, from children refusing vegetables for cookies, to adults turning down salad for steak. As great omnivores, people have a choice of what to eat, which has lead to the greatest achievements and disasters of food, and the Earth, in history. "The Omnivore's Dilemma" reflects America's omni-culture: all-consuming, all-encompassing, and through this, all-degrading.